Healed in the Waiting Room

“Your results came back benign…” About 2 months ago, I visited a female doctor for a routine exam. After an unimpressive (that‘s putting it nicely) visit to another doctor previously, I decided to make a change. With light rain dusting across the windshield of my car, I remember being happy to get street parking right in front of the new practice. Cars were flying by so I reluctantly opened my door and quickly hopped out of the car. I then walked across the street as I was greeted by large oak trees that were more so like a temporary umbrella at this point since the rain had picked up.

After finally walking inside the building, I made my way to the elevator bank. I remember making small talk with a person riding up on the elevator with me. Then it was time to get off on the floor where the office is located. After finding the office, I checked in and was back in an exam room in no time. After answering the normal questions that every doctor asks, the exam started. Within a few minutes I recall the doctor saying,

“…lump…1 o’clock”

“Wait what!? What do you mean lump? What do you mean 1 o’clock?” This is what originally ran through my mind. The doctor asked me if I did self breast exams and I honestly answered, “No.” I didn’t think lumps were really prevalent in smaller/average size breasts. So, that’s why I didn’t do self breast exams. The doctor had me feel the lump as well. Yep, there was definitely something there. As a result, they then recommended I get a mammogram and ultrasound. I thought, “But I’m not 40! Aren’t mammograms for women 40 and up?”

I haven’t heard of ultrasounds hurting so I wasn’t anxious about that but the mammogram…I had only heard one thing… “they squeeze your breast in a machine and it hurts!” Yikes! I wasn’t looking forward to it but I eventually made the appointment because I knew it had to be done. I went to an office to get the mammogram and surprisingly it didn’t hurt at all! I was also told 3D is not as bad as 2D (which from my experience is accurate). The radiologist confirmed they saw a mass and that’s when the breast biopsy was recommended. If you are not familiar with breast biopsies they pretty much “numb” the breast and stick a core needle in it to get samples. Ouch is correct! This procedure hurts!! At least it did for me.

So, eventually I scheduled the breast biopsy. I was more interested in the actual procedure than the results. On the day of the exam, a local anesthesia was applied to numb the breast, some samples were taken with a core needle, they bandaged up the area, and did a 2D mammogram right afterwards! A hurting breast and a 2D mammogram are a bad mix. It’s like pain on top of more pain! There has to be a better way to do this procedure! This is also why I think 3D mammograms are way better than 2D mammograms. Night and day difference!

After grabbing comfort food following the procedure and many rounds of ice packs, a few days passed by and I had finally received the news…

“Your results came back benign”….

Prior to the breast biopsy someone asked me, “how are you feeling about it?” I said, “I’m not worried about the results. In my mind, it is benign.” I refused to entertain “What if?” In this situation. I refused to worry. Or maybe I was just tired of worrying about things. Thoughts tried to come up of needing to be prepared either way. But I just couldn’t entertain those thoughts. I decided that it is benign and I acted like it’s benign. The breast biopsy confirmed what was already in my mind.

I did think about how grateful I am to have Christ in my life. Honestly either way, in regards to the results, He is my preparation…my anchor…my strength…my hope. I meditated on healing scriptures, made up my mind, and moved forward. This may be taboo to talk about or share but I don’t care. I want to share my experience because I know that others have also gone through something similar or know someone else that has. Or maybe you were like me and didn’t know much about this topic.

There are a few things I want to note here:

• Check your breasts regularly!
• Be kind! You may not always know what is going on in someone’s life unless they tell you.
• God is Healer! One thing I love about God is His consistency. He’s the same God yesterday, today, and forevermore.